It’s the end of a long day, and you’re pulling up to the carpool line to pick up your child. As you see them walking towards you, you eagerly ask, “How was your day?” But instead of the enthusiastic response you hoped for, your child’s face crumples, and they start sharing that their day was filled with struggles and disappointment.
Your heart sinks, and a wave of panic washes over you. You’ve been there before — feeling helpless and unsure of how to support your child when things don’t go as planned. What do you do in that moment to help your child navigate these tough emotions and turn things around for the better?
Starting school can be a significant transition for children, and sometimes the first day doesn’t go as smoothly as hoped. As a licensed clinical therapist, I understand that this can be a challenging experience for both you and your child. Here are five practical tips to support your child and help them navigate these difficult feelings:
1. Validate Their Feelings
It’s essential to acknowledge your child’s emotions without judgment. Let them know it’s okay to feel upset or anxious about their first day. Saying something like, “I understand that today was tough, and the feelings you have are normal,” helps them feel heard and supported. While it’s tempting to say, “It’s going to be okay,” it’s important to recognize that this kind of reassurance can sometimes minimize their feelings. Instead, validating their emotions can help reduce their anxiety and reassure them that their feelings are normal.
2. Encourage Open Communication
Create a safe space for your child to express their thoughts and feelings. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was the hardest part of your day?” or “Is there anything specific that made you feel unhappy?” Listen actively and empathetically, offering support and understanding without immediately trying to fix the problem. This approach fosters trust and helps your child feel comfortable sharing their experiences.
3. Reframe the Experience
Help your child see the first day as a learning experience rather than a failure. Discuss what went well, no matter how small, and explore what they might try differently next time. This can shift their focus from the negative aspects to the potential for growth and improvement. Encourage them to think about what they can look forward to, such as new friends or fun activities.
4. Establish a Routine
Consistency can be comforting for children. Establish a calming bedtime routine and morning ritual to provide stability and reduce anxiety about school. A predictable routine helps children feel more secure and prepared for the day ahead. Consider incorporating relaxing activities like reading together or discussing positive aspects of the upcoming school day.
5. Seek Professional Support if Needed
If your child’s distress continues or escalates, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. A therapist can work with your child to develop coping strategies and address any underlying issues contributing to their difficulties. Early intervention can make a significant difference in helping your child adjust and thrive. This is very important- It is perfectly “OK” to seek professional help in times of such! Remember, you are the caregiver, they are depending on you to care, nurture and support them in every positive way as though I know you are capable of doing. Contact a mental health/medical professional if you notice as a caregiver that further support is needed.
By taking these steps, you can help your child navigate the challenges of starting school and foster resilience and confidence in their ability to handle new experiences. Remember, it’s important to be patient and supportive as they adjust to their new environment.
Until next time, stay well and take care…
Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW
For more related content like this, be sure to listen to “The Dear Unapologetically Me” podcast on Apple or Spotify. Also, check out The Healing Experience Now Website with all exclusive content and our YouTube page at The Healing Experience Now.
If you enjoyed this story, please recommend 👏 and share to help others find it!
Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational purposes only. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional with any questions you may have regarding your mental health or well-being.
