As the summer comes to a close and the school year approaches, parents and children alike face the anticipation and, often, the anxiety of the new school year. Somewhere in the aisles of Target, a parent is thinking, “Here we go again,” as they navigate the back-to-school supplies. This period can be challenging for everyone involved. From a therapist’s perspective, there are several strategies parents can employ to ease this transition, reduce stress, and support their children’s mental well-being. Here are some tips to help your family move into the new school year productively.
“Here We Are Again”
I totally get it — new teachers, new classrooms, new changes — and as a therapist, I know change can be difficult at times. Understanding and acknowledging your child’s feelings about returning to school is crucial. Children may have mixed emotions about going back to school, ranging from excitement to anxiety.
Here are some of my best tips to help your family move into the new school year productively.
1. Meet Them Where They Are
Open Dialogue: Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings. Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about going back to school?” and “Is there anything you’re worried about?”
Validate Emotions: Acknowledge their feelings without judgment. Statements like, “It’s okay to feel nervous,” can go a long way in making them feel understood.
2. “Start Before the Start:” Get into a Routine
One of the best ways to ease the back-to-school transition is to establish a routine before school actually starts.
Adjust Bedtimes: Gradually shift bedtime earlier to match the school schedule. Summer is over, it’s time to get into routine. It is great to start this at least a month or two weeks before the start day of school. This will ensure a smoother transition.
Morning Practices: Begin practicing morning routines a week before school starts to help children get accustomed to waking up and preparing for the day and minimizing the “summer late night morning grogginess.”
Screen Time Management: Implementing limits on screen time is crucial. It’s time to turn in the iPad at night, turn off the gaming system, and use a timer to cut down screen time. Stick to your decisions even if there are temper tantrums. This consistency will help immensely before the first day of school and reduce the shock of sudden changes once school starts for the year.
3. Meet The Teachers
I know I know you’re busy and life is going on but building a rapport with your child’s teacher is a must! It shows care and concern and that you are an active parent in your child’s life it is deeper than you know! Take the time in some way somehow to meet and build a relationship with the teacher! They spend at least eight hours with your child each day five days a week! From a child development perspective, that is a major influence in a child’s life! Getting to know the teacher can alleviate anxiety for both parents and children.
Attend Meet-and-Greet Events: These events provide an opportunity for children to familiarize themselves with their new environment and for parents to communicate with the teacher.
Share Concerns: If your child has specific needs or anxieties, discuss them with the teacher beforehand to ensure a supportive classroom experience. Be open about your concerns. This is your opportunity to advocate for your child. So often I see parents not advocate for their children due to fear are clearly not understanding, policies and procedures related to their child’s education, which of results in the child suffering in the end. Advocate, advocate, advocate! If you have a question, ask! Every school has a school counselor and working in conjunction with the school system prior to starting my private practice the school counselor is your advocate! Find them and reach out if you have questions or concerns about anything! If they cannot help you contact the school board.
4. Addressing Anxiety & Other Challenges
Both children and parents can experience anxiety as the school year starts. Always ask open questions when it comes to anxiety or when you find that your child is going through a tough difficult situation. Try to avoid minimizing their feelings with toxic positivity. You may ask what is toxic positivity? According to Smith (2024), toxic positivity refers to the belief or practice of maintaining a positive mindset and encouraging others to do the same, often to the point of dismissing or invalidating genuine emotions and struggles. This approach can lead to the minimization of real challenges and feelings and may hinder individuals from addressing or expressing their true experiences. It involves focusing exclusively on positive outcomes or emotions, often at the expense of acknowledging complex or difficult realities (Smith, 2024). If the problem is quite more in depth, please see professional counseling services for your child.
For Children: Toxic positivity can harm children by dismissing their real feelings. Saying things like ‘It’s going to be okay’ might seem comforting but can overlook their true struggles. Validating a child’s such as “I understand what you are going through” emotions helps them feel understood and supported. “Giving empathy over sympathy” is the key. Instead, encourage them to talk about their fears and provide reassurance. Give them examples of the times you overcame something in your life. Reassurance through personal testament can be a positive technique- only from a prospective perspective.
For Parents: Acknowledge your own anxieties. It’s normal to feel stressed about your child’s transition. Practice self-care and consider talking to other parents for support. For parents, a key self-care tip is to practice emotional self-awareness and stress management. Effective parenting means pouring into yourself so you can better support your children. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take time for yourself, whether it’s five minutes or a full day, to recharge and remember your own needs. Prioritizing your well-being is crucial because, without it, it’s impossible to offer the best support to your children.
5. Live In the Moment & Set Fun Goals
Focus on the Positives and the “Not So Positives”: Discuss the aspects of school they enjoy, like seeing friends or favorite subjects. However, it’s also valuable to address challenges. While society often pushes for a focus on positives, recognizing and discussing difficulties helps children grow. By balancing both positives and negatives, we teach them to handle challenges constructively, fostering resilience and a more comprehensive view of their world. But remember to be gentle and kind when doing so- this is only for evaluation purposes!
Set Fun Goals: Encourage them to set small, achievable goals for the school year to foster a sense of accomplishment and motivation. Make the goals fun- life is strict enough make it fun! It is OK to be playful with your children to simply be a kid! It also motivates them as well to save mom and dad and interact with them and be playful while setting goals and being productive!
The transition back to school doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. By meeting your child where they are, establishing routines, engaging with teachers, addressing anxieties, and encouraging positive thinking, you can help make this school year a successful and less stressful one for both you and your child. Taking proactive steps like adjusting bedtimes, managing screen time, and starting routines early will eliminate the shock of sudden changes and pave the way for a smooth start to the school year. Wishing you and your child a wonderful successful school year!
Until next time, stay well and take care,
Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW
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Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational purposes only. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional with any questions you may have regarding your mental health or well-being.
