In our journey through life, we often pick up habits, beliefs, and behaviors that don’t serve our well-being. Unlearning these ingrained patterns can be a powerful step towards personal growth and mental health. In this blog post, I will share some of the things I have learned to “unlearn!”
In reading these, hopefully you can find some solace in understanding that “its ok to unlearn things that may be hindering us from being our greatest selves.”
1. Not Respecting Boundaries to Please Others or Make Others Happy
Many people prioritize others’ needs at the expense of their own well-being. This behavior is common as we strive to be liked and accepted. However, learning to set and respect personal boundaries is crucial for maintaining mental health. When we constantly seek to please others, we can lose sight of our own needs, leading to burnout and resentment.
2. Needing Others to Validate Feelings, Progress, & Life Decisions
Relying on external validation is a widespread issue that undermines self-confidence and personal growth. It’s common to seek approval from others, especially in a world dominated by social media. However, it’s essential to trust one’s own judgment and value personal feelings and decisions. Building self-validation helps develop a stronger sense of self-worth and independence, which are vital for emotional resilience.
3. Believing One Should Be “Strong” & Not Asking for Help When Suffering in Silence
The belief that seeking help is a sign of weakness is ingrained in many people, leading them to suffer in silence. This mindset is often reinforced by societal expectations to appear strong and self-reliant. Recognizing that asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness can foster a healthier approach to dealing with stress and emotional pain. Support systems are crucial for mental health, and reaching out can provide much-needed relief and connection.
4. Ignoring Feelings & Not Expressing Discomfort, Anxiety, and Overwhelm
Suppressing emotions is a common coping mechanism that can lead to increased stress and anxiety over time. Many individuals are taught to hide their feelings to avoid appearing vulnerable. However, it’s important to acknowledge and express feelings to prevent them from building up and causing more significant issues. Open emotional expression allows for better emotional regulation and improved mental well-being.
5. Not Letting Go of Things That Have Expired in Our Lives
Holding onto relationships, jobs, or habits that no longer serve us can hinder personal growth and happiness. Many people struggle with letting go due to fear of change or a sense of obligation. However, recognizing when something has reached its natural end and allowing ourselves to move on is crucial for mental health. Letting go of expired aspects of our lives opens the door to new opportunities and growth. I discuss the importance of this in my book Today, I Love Me: A Self-Help Guide to Living Unapologetically by Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You in which I provide practical strategies and insights on how to embrace change and release what no longer contributes positively to our lives.
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By unlearning these detrimental patterns, we can pave the way for a more balanced and fulfilling life. Prioritizing mental health through these changes promotes emotional resilience and overall happiness.
Until next time, stay well and take care…
Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW
For more related content like this, be sure to listen to “The Dear Unapologetically Me” podcast on Apple or Spotify. Also, check out The Healing Experience Now Website with all exclusive content and our YouTube page at The Healing Experience Now.
